A Dish Best Seved cold
by Marcie Gore
Summary: Dick Plays a prank on Roy for Christmas


"A Dish Best Served Cold" Marcie Gore

Dick finally gets revenge on Roy for the events at the end of Moon light on the water.

**Note Beth's about 5 months here. Rated G the Standard Disclaimer applies s here DC owns most of the characters except Beth other original characters**

A week before Christmas , after we'd gotten the tree up and most of the shopping finished, an Idea hit me. I'd finally get my revenge on one Roy William Harper JR , my one of my best friends and the \ worst practical joker I know.  
"Babs I'm finally going to get even with Roy for the reporters he sent to the restaurant on our honey Moon. "I've been thinking about this since we got married" I tell her

"You mean I'm not enough to take your mind off it? I'm Insulted" She says with a mock pout.  
"You are" I insist. "I just have to do this it's just too good "I start to laugh  
"Not itching powder in his costume I hope, Or Sneezing powder in his sheets at the tower" She says

"You know I'm more mature then that and more creative" I say with a smile. I stay up a little while watching my little princess sleep in her crib then go to bed myself thinking about tomorrow.

The next morning before breakfast Babs asks "You have to work today short pants?"  
"NO" I say all the time sensing a trap

"Good you can watch Beth today, I'm Knee in deep in work. Your Dad doesn't seem to know how much work a baby is, nether does the JLA. Remind me to schedule them to babysit"

"I have Christmas shopping to do hon." I say as she thrust our daughter in my arms, all dressed up in a red frilly dress, candy cane tights black Patton leather shoes and a hair bow. The baby is cooing and smiling. My wife knows how to get to me. I get her in her coat and place her in her car seat without a word and hand her Bruce the teddy bear and the stiffed bat both a gift from her Grandpa Bruce, only he'd give a baby girl a stuff bat but she loves it ,and the Teddy bear made up for it.  
"You can get her picture with Santa while you're at the Mall" She says Knowing I won't need to be forced.  
"You ready for a day with daddy?" I ask as I place her in the car, all bundled up. I place her diaper bag along with some premixed bottles in a thermal bag on the seat.

'The highs going to be 45 today and maybe she'll see Snow flurries. This is going to be fun.' I think As I search for Christmas Music on the radio  
"want to Go to tasty Burger" I ask My Daughter. She just coos then gives me the "are you crazy Dad?" look

"OH Daddy forgot, no teeth, they could make a fortune if they sold baby food." To make it up to her I hand her Teething biscuit as I order a sausage and biscuit and coffee, I add "Orange juice" Babs would Kill me if Didn't at least Do that.

We pull into Green Haven Mall Parking lot at 9:00 AM on the dot. I think I should see how the line at Santa's Castle is first while Beth's still cooing, since the mall just opened, the wait shouldn't be long there's only 4 sets kids ahead of me, I mean us.

"OH HELLO DICK" A voice says

"Hi Mr. Mass how are you?" It's my old boss from when I played Santa....  
"Great, thank You. This must be your baby girl Mary Elisabeth" He says smiling and walking over.  
"Yes This Is my baby girl, we call her Beth"

"She's a cutie! Looks like you and your wife" He says tickling Beth.

She grins and coos like she's known him all her five months '_What's His secret? I've tried to Figure that out for the last couple of Years!'_

"The Santa we've had the last couple of years is very good but not as good as you. You went that extra mile, even at the cost of planning your Christmas. I see it's the cutie's turn" he says.

I place her on Santa's Lap with a blanket on his knee.  
"What do you want for Christmas "Santa asks?

"I want Cheer Bear and a blankie, and some cloth books P2 at the bunny if you can find it and Love Lot Bear and a rattle and love lot bear and Mrs. Raggedy Ann" I say as her

"Would you like a Picture?" A lady elf asks with A Jersey accent, "one photo is free but a donation to Gotham Children's hospital is appreciated. Other packages are different prices." she hands me the price list.

"Package C please" he says stuffing a 20 in the jar.

"The pictures should and will be at your home in 3 three days a week at the most," She replies,

"Thank YOU" I say. "Next it's Explorer Toys. I think I have an idea what to get Roy. First I call Vic, aka Cyborg. He's agreed to help me with a gift for Lian, Roy will love it too. He oh I doll for her too and for Cin. Dinah and she will be here for Christmas (barring world crises); Oh, I see just the thing for Roy, a 1000 Piece 3D puzzle of a Castle. I have such plans for you my friend...." Beth laughs as if she understands What I'm Saying

Next I go to 'O Neil's' for the adults in my life. Bruce is always the hardest for obvious reasons. I saw something in their sale paper that I think I'll get Babs, A talking Picture frame. Here's the perfect one baby's first Christmas, green with red ribbons painted on and holy, the engraving is 50 cents a letter. I get Beth's name and the date engraved in gold. Beth starts to cry; first I check her forehead, cool. Then her Diaper, clean, that's a relief, I don't feel like changing diapers right now. I pick her up wondering if she just needs attention. She quits crying for a moment then resumes. I think she's hungry,

"Sorry sweetheart, I lost track of time." I tell her. I take out a bottle, test it on my wrist and begin feeding her as I begin to hear some women talking as they watch me.  
"How sweet "One woman says

Another woman says "I WISH I could get my husband to help out with the kids more." as she's trying to calm, two antsy kids.

"I think all the good guys are taken" A third sighs, I blush at this.

Now I know why Roy calls kids 'a babe magnet.' I think he used Lian to get dates, even Robbie and Beth. OH, if Donna knew that, Bowhead would be dead meat with his Wonder doll! Now I can see the temptation though.

It was afternoon when Beth and I got home. Beth's mom is still working and I was hungry so I made a sandwich which I took into the bedroom as Beth gurgled in the carrier that she was sitting in. Smiling I decided to wrap presents.

I put the Presents in three piles family, friend, and co workers. Most of my friends are co workers, pathetic? Most of my Friends, my true friends, are the Titans, they understand me.  
"Let's see a sweater for Donna, and Jessie. Garth's hard since he spends most of his time in water. Barbara's handling Dinah's present. I'll give Roy and the rest of the Titans my presents on Christmas Eve at the Party. For the first time in years, both Roy and I are spending Christmas with our mentors.

Christmas afternoon, after dinner we got a phone call

"Merry Christmas Robbie., Thanks for the gift, but it says 'A thousand piece puzzle' but there was only 850 when I opened it." He says, sounding like he's losing his Christmas cheer

"Merry Christmas to you Roy. Did you see the note?" I ask  
"Yes I saw the note following the Instructions, brought the total u to one 870 and another note I found ten more in Lean's toy box. What are you trying to do have me, wreak the tower? I went all over it looking for pieces. I just want to know where the last 15 are. I thought I was your friend" he whines.

"OK I'll give you a hint, the last note is in your laundry hamper, follow the note." I say and start laughing when he hangs up the phone.

30 minutes later the phone rings again,

"Very funny bird boy" Roy says when I pick up the phone, "I just went diving in Garth's tank for those puzzle pieces. I guess I should thank you for putting them in a double bagged zip-lock. What did I do to deserve this gift?" he asks.  
"Remember my honeymoon my friend?" I ask

"Not Personally" He says innocently, "OH, you're still mad about that"  
"Not as Much now" I TELL HIM THEN LAUGH.  
"OH, Lian says 'Thank You' for her mechanical bird and her doll. She's napping BTW my friend. The bird's cool but not sure I trust him. It has to be booby trapped. Garth loves his Sea World T-shirt"

"You'll see" I say and "Merry Christmas"

Revenge is a dish best severed cold


End file.
